From The Pastor’s Desk:
The Practice of Forgiveness
One of the hardest things to do in this life is to forgive someone who has hurt you. And yet, as Christians, one of the distinguishing marks of our faith is our willingness to forgive. I’ve heard it said that “Christians are the most forgiven people in the world. Therefore, we should be the most forgiving people in the world.” The Bible makes the connection explicit, it says “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13b). And, every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to “Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
And so, this matter of forgiveness is huge, and it is important that we are clear on what forgiveness is not, and what it is:
- Forgiveness is not a feeling. If we waited until we felt like forgiving, we probably never would. The whole point of forgiveness is that somebody has hurt you, and you don’t feel particularly good about them or what they did. Rather, forgiveness is an act of the will.Forgiveness is a decision. You choose to forgive, even when you don’t feel like it. And sometimes, that decision can drastically improve the way you feel.
- Forgiveness is not forgetting.This might surprise you. We’re all familiar with the phrase “forgive and forget.” But forgetting is a very passive activity. And it is remarkably hard to just forget. Instead, forgiveness is choosing not to remember. This is an active process where, every time a painful experience comes to mind, we choose not to dwell on it or talk about it. It requires effort, but when we decide to forgive someone and stop dwelling on an offense, painful memories usually begin to fade.
Forgiveness is not excusing. Excusing implies that what happened wasn’t that bad or that the other person didn’t do anything wrong. Excusing sweeps bad behavior under the rug and acts like it isn’t really bad. But forgiveness is different. Forgiveness deals honestly with sin. The very fact that forgiveness is needed and granted implies that the behavior was very wrong and inexcusable. Forgiveness says, “We both know what you did was wrong, but I’m choosing to forgive you anyway.” Forgiveness brings a freedom that no amount of excusing could ever hope to provide.
- Forgiveness is not the absence of consequences. Sometimes when we forgive, that’s the end of it. Nothing more needs to be said. Nothing more happens. But some offenses still have consequences. A murderer may be forgiven by the victims’ family, but that doesn’t mean he gets out of jail. Instead, forgiveness means letting the natural results of sin run their course. Good parents know this. You can forgive your child for telling a lie, but there still need to be consequences so that the child does not think she can lie anytime she wants as long as she says sorry when she is caught.
- Forgiveness is not changing another person. Saying “I forgive you” to somebody who has done you wrong doesn’t necessarily mean that that person will change his or her behavior. We hope it will. We hope that by granting forgiveness the other person will know how much we love them and choose to respond in a similar way. But forgiveness is not a contract given only to those who agree to change. Rather, forgiveness is letting go of the need to balance the scales.
Regardless of what the other person chooses to do, forgiveness frees us from the baggage of trying to get even.
Our natural reaction is to brood over hurts that have been done to us. To resent them. And our instinct is to repay evil with evil. But love breaks the pattern. Love ends the cycle of hurt followed by hurt. Love refuses to let evil win.
A man named Ken Sande has written an excellent book on conflict resolution and forgiveness called The Peacemaker. And he says that when we forgive we make four promises. Saying “I forgive you” means saying:
“I will not think about this incident.”
“I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.”
“I will not talk to others about this incident.”
“I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.” (189-190)
That’s what forgiveness means. It doesn’t mean that we excuse or forget about a wrong that has been done. It doesn’t mean that we remove the consequences for sin or cover it up. But it does mean we won’t perpetuate the sin by always coming back to it. That we will forget about trying to balance out the ledger. That we’ll let the legacy of evil die with us.
Schedules
Greeting & Refreshments for Fellowship Time
June 1 - Chad & Jamie Osterbuhr, Ron Henning
June 8 - Rex & Tracy Ackerman,Robert & Kristen Wix
June 15 –Wilder Park VBS Service
June 22 - Greta Cordes,Sam & Ami Cordes
June 29 - Rex & Tracy Ackerman, David & Kelly Thorne
June Sound/Projector Operator Schedule
June 1 - Parker Merritt
June 8 - Parker Merritt
June 15 - Matt Eberline
June 22 - Ryan Fleshner
June 29 - TBD
Video Operator Schedule
June 1 - James Seehusen
June 8 - Michael Shafer
June 15 - Lucas Junker
June 22 - Jodi Bangasser
June 29 - TBD
June Praise Team Schedule
June 1 - Praise Team 1 (Denise)
June 8 - Praise Team 2 (Ruth)
June 15 - Praise Team 3 (Kelly/Greta)
June 22 - Praise Team 4 (Denise, Airyn)
June 29 - TBD